Our perfect agreement not to do this has brought us here.

This is the problem with being practical. Monday is

a strange day to get married, but I’m Eva Marie Saint

and this is Cary Grant and we’re very busy being famous.

It’s true we’re already married to other people, but they’re us

and we have their blessing. More jewelry would only jeopardize

the paparazzi and a long, delicious dinner is very important.

Also, we’ll need time to digest before the love scene

but it matters because it’s 1959 as far as the censors

are concerned. Our announcement: The couple “fell” in love

while holding on for dear life near Teddy Roosevelt’s mustache.

I can’t hear the question, darling, but the answer is: nobody

thinks it’s strange when movie stars don’t change their names.

Jeffrey W. Morgan (PA)  has had work appear in DIAGRAM, Fourteen Hills, La Petite Zine, LIT, Octopus and elsewhere.